A woman I know, whose kids are friends with my kids, dropped
the “c” word the other day in a conversation with me and another mother. Now,
normally, I am not one to censor language, though I do exercise some caution
when in the presence of children. (I don’t want to be responsible for birthing
the next potty mouth, especially the mouth of one of my own kids.) When this
woman said this word, I jumped a little, startled. Our kids were playing in the
pool within earshot of the chairs we sat on. I looked over and the kids were so
involved in their own playing and their conversation that I don’t think they
heard anything.
She was telling a story about how a young woman on beach
patrol had asked to see her beach badge, which she did not have. She told of
the brief predictable exchange of words that happens in these kinds of
situations. She then turned to us story listeners and called the beach patrol
woman a “college c---“. My breath caught. I didn’t see how that name-calling
was necessary, especially that name. The young woman was just doing her job. (I
already dislike this woman. She just made it worse.)
Normally, I don’t like giving power to a certain word. I try
to use certain charged or loaded words as often as possible to take their power
away, to dull the sting. For example? Fuck. Though I do not say this word in
front of my children*, I say it often enough among adults that it no longer
carries the forbidden weight it used to carry. I think this is the case,
generally: that people are using it more often these days and as a result, has
lost its shine. There are only a few words that I refuse to say. Like the “n”
word. The “c” word is on the fence for me. I don’t have a problem saying it in
class for a lesson on the power of language, but using it to name someone based
on their behavior or on one’s opinion of a woman? That bothers me. A lot.
*(I do realize this defeats my purpose of refusing to give
power and significance to certain words, by allowing this word to carry enough
weight that it is stricken from my language around my kids, heck, kids in
general. But hey, we’re all walking contradictions, right?)
I’ve been thinking about how language is constantly in flux,
how meanings and usage shift and change over time. Will this happen with the
“c” word? I don’t know. For some people, it might. For others like me, I don’t
forsee it losing its vulgar sting. The hard sound of the “c” followed by the
softness of the “un” and forcefully end-stopped by the short sound of the “t” –
how can that NOT sting? The sounds alone are harsh. That middle softness
misleads you into thinking “oh it’s not that bad” but then BAM! That “t” cuts
right into you. And that’s just the sound of the word. Its meaning just adds to
it. To use this word in order to relegate a woman to a thing is awful. To have
a woman do this to another woman is doubly awful.
Language is a funny, odd thing. So limiting in capturing the
exact emotions of our hearts, but yet it finds a way to singe us, to pierce us.
