Re-entry is hard. And I’ve only been home a little over 12 hours. I have yet to venture out into the regular world. If it’s hard now, I’m in big trouble. And I can't exactly articulate what's so hard or why it's hard. It just is.
I wonder if the visual artists have this problem. Part of me thinks: no.
This morning, it was too quiet. No sound of the river. An occasional bird chirp. Not even a song. Just a chirp here and there. My home studio is a disaster, full of clutter. I want to take my arm and just sweep all of its contents out the window, into a big dumpster down below. Papers, books. Everything. Clean slate. Start fresh.
It feels weird to be home. Surreal. Like I’m here, but not. This weird pseudo-outer-body experience. Like there’s a kind of fog around me.
I unpacked a few things last night. Looking at my newly-acquired VSC items in my home was strange. Again, like I’m here but not really. For example, I bought a few of Michael’s beautiful wood bowls and they sat on my dresser in my room at Mason House. Now, they are sitting on the worktable in my home studio (I just randomly placed them there). Two worlds are trying to come together and, for me, it’s a little jarring. The bowls remind me of the peace and quiet of Mason House, but now, for them to exist in a space that’s not so peaceful, one that’s cluttered and frenetic? That’s the jarring part.
Also, I’m feeling a little delirious from lack of sleep.
I don’t know what to do with myself right now. Maybe I can start with another cup of coffee. Then figure out where to start in KonMari-ing the shit out of this home studio. I’m sure there will be more to say, but for now, I will clean.